An Imaginary Award for an Imaginary President

Published By: All Right Magazine on October 9, 2009

nobel

By FAIRFIELD “PINPOINT” EDWARDS

Imagine a man whose claim to fame, launching him into politics, was organizing a community that, judging by the videotaped violence, is still utterly without an iota of organization.  Imagine a man who was a run-of-the-mill, dime-a-dozen state senator who then found himself running for higher office against a man who dropped out after his “private life” dirty laundry began blowing in the breeze of political discourse.  Imagine a man who then gave a single speech, read from screen, that launched him into national notoriety.

Imagine a man who ran for President after having been in major office for a year.  Imagine a man who wrote his own autobiography before any major accomplishment.  Imagine a man whose Presidential primary opponent chose to emphasize experience, of which she had not so much, in a year when the party’s die-hard core wanted “change.”  Imagine a man whose opponent in the general election was ahead in the polls until a financial crisis, along with a few bad sound bites, made his candidacy obsolete.  And finally, imagine a man for all intents and purposes winning a Nobel Peace Prize after less than two weeks on the job.

No one has ever received more for doing less.  The disconnection from reality has never been more palpable.  Fiction can no longer even pretend to compete with truth.  Our current situation is its own parody.  The American nation clearly has problems at this moment in time, and Obama, this imaginary figure in whom people only saw what they wanted to see, has the solutions, each of which cost a trillion dollars.  The only problem is that we don’t have a trillion dollars, let alone 9 trillion or 11 trillion.  And this is merely the tip of the iceberg of Titanic economic peril.

When the Congressional Budget Office says a particular plan will cost just under a trillion dollars, there’s no thought of the true cost, because these programs are all designed for perpetuity.  They are designed to be woven into the social fabric as irrevocable and unalienable entitlements for citizens and anyone who can manage to crawl across the border as psudo-citizens.  Not the least attention is paid to the sum total of 10 trillion dollars over the coming century, not accounting for inflation or the classic underestimation of government spending.  The President, lacking any sense of real world experience with budgets outside of an occasional vote and who is as chained to the ideology of collective societal solutions as Prometheus was to his mythological rock, will eagerly sign each and every such bill that can manage to grease its way through the porky passages of Capitol Hill.

Then there’s the gigantic red number at the bottom of the ledger, the number that no one dares face or even acknowledge except in some glowing tribute to the Clinton years.  If Obama escapes the repercussions of tiptoeing through the current debt minefield, count it as one of the many miracles of his future biography.  It’s as if Obama and the Congressionals are a heavy metal band interested in nothing beyond the current after- show party, all the while trashing the room which does not belong to them.

The Nobel Prize committee must certainly have noticed Obama’s foreign policy agenda, even before he was able to implement any of it.  Everyone knows that he didn’t vote for the Iraq War – because he did not have the opportunity to do so.  Had he been in office longer than the extended version of Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida, he would have.  Every other serious Democratic contender did as it was after all a mere year and a half removed from the dastardly events of September 11, 2001.  Everyone knows that he acted hawkish on Afghanistan because it was a safe political bet – when the war was in its better days.  But not even the most strident Obama supporter could have seen the revocation of the missile shield deal in Eastern Europe, leaving them exposed to a resurgent Soviet Union, unless the same people paid attention to his weak stance on the invasion of Georgia. (Can anyone say Sudetenland?)

So maybe we should consider the questionable Nobel Prize an incentive in an international cash for clunkers program.  The Western European elite obviously intend for Obama to trade in his powerful, roomy, frankly superior, ride for a new model that has no horsepower, an excess of mandated safety features, and a lot less get up and go.

FAIRFIELD EDWARDS  is a traditionalist by day and traditionalist by night who believes in the institutions and noble history of our nation.  He is but a single champion of the righteous against the self-righteous and a champion of the wronged against those who seek to do wrong.    He is the editor of www.allrightmagazine.com.

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One Response to “An Imaginary Award for an Imaginary President”

  1. Andre McKenzie Says:

    Excellent piece. Well thought out.

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